an excerpt…

How to Know If She’s “The One”
If you can say “Yes” to more than half of the below questions, then she’s the one for you:

— Do you share the same values?
— Do you sleep the same hours?
— Is she hungry for sex, even after lunch?
— Does she set up a pasta and ice cream sundae bar at the house when you come home from work?
— Does she wear tube tops?
— Does she have zero body fat?
— Does she make you feel like John “Cougar” Mellencamp (including praising your work on FarmAid)?